The Whole Head of Lettuce
The Whole Head of Lettuce
One of my favorite Seinfeld episodes is "The Abstinence." In this story, George Costanza has just been told that he and his girlfriend may not have any sex for six weeks. Soon thereafter George - who was never exactly a rocket scientist - discovers that he has become much more intelligent. In fact, he is now a genius. Using a head of lettuce as a stand-in for George's brain, Jerry demonstrates why this has happened. Before, George had been devoting almost all of his brainpower to obsessing about sex and how to get it, and so there was only a tiny piece of a leaf leftover to function as the intellect. But now, with sex a complete non-possibility, George's brain is free to think about other things and can operate clearly for the first time since puberty.
The point of the story is greatly exaggerated, as is usually the case with television in general and Seinfeld in particular, but somewhere in all that hyperbole I think is a real element of truth. Desire is one of the most primal and powerful of all human emotions. On the positive side, it can drive us to try harder, learn more, and reach higher. Not to mention the added benefit that it keeps the human race going. But too much desire can be destructive. Intense desire doesn't just drive us - it hijacks us and tosses reason out the window. If our hunger to get something or someone becomes too strong, it's overwhelming, intoxicating. When that happens our minds cannot possibly think clearly. And so we are left trying to make all our important decisions on a measly little scrap of lettuce.
This concept is especially important in poker. First, because desire is one of the big reasons why many people play the game. But it's a special kind of desire. When they're sitting at the table, what many poker players crave is not the pleasures of the flesh, but rather the pleasure of raking in a big pot. The lust to win. For whatever reason - to make money, gain prestige, protect our egos, or just plain beat the other guy - this desire can be extremely powerful. The coveted goal is not a love affair with a flesh-and-blood human partner, but rather a consummation with Lady Luck. And some players lust after the lady with a passion that borders on obsession. That's when the problems begin. The other reason why this concept is significant is because poker is a mental sport. The ability to think clearly, to take in information and process that information in order to determine the next action, is crucial to good play.
Wanting to win too badly can screw up your poker game in a multitude of ways. First and foremost, you can go on tilt much more easily. The more desperately you want to win, it follows that the more deeply upset you will become whenever you lose. And we all know, or we should, how inevitable it is we are going to lose sometimes.
Pot lust can also cause even the best players in the world to make bad calls when they know better. We've all seen it happen, and I'll wager that we've all done it at one time or another - stubbornly putting out our chips or hitting the call button, even as our brains were warning us: No, don't do it. This is a really bad call. When the desire to win overpowers us, that sensible little voice is just shouting into the wind.
Another way that pot lust can interfere with our ability to play well is by convincing us to stay in the game too long when we really should quit. Usually this happens because we are losing and we want to end the session with a win, or at least get back even. And so we convince ourselves that we're really not tired, we're still playing our best, the game is still good, yada, yada - even when those things are obviously not true. If strong desire goes unfulfilled, denial usually steps in to fill the void. When Lady Luck gives us the cold shoulder, some people just can't handle the rejection well at all. The more desperately we want something, the more difficult it becomes to face the possibility of not getting it. This is when the Voice of Denial can be very seductive: I can eat cheesecake every day and still lose weight. I'm going to win the lottery this week. He's going to leave his wife for me. I look really good in spandex. I can keep calling with bad hands and longshot draws and still win because I'm just that good.
Intense desire can also push us to push ourselves too much, too hard, too soon. Besides coaxing us into making bad calls, it can also spur us to play too-high a limit before we - or our bankrolls - are ready. But some poker players allow the hunger to win more now as an excuse to play higher limits too soon. The reverse is also true. Too much desire can make us play scared. The evil twin of desire is fear, and these two emotions almost always go hand-in-hand. The stronger the desire, the stronger the fear. And it's virtually impossible to play well with scared money.
But perhaps the worst way that pot lust impedes our ability to play poker well is that it simply prevents us from being able to gather information as well as we should. Poker is very situational, and to see the situation clearly one must have clear eyes and a clear mind. A mind that is not polluted with a burning passion to win. In the words of the classic Platters song:
They said someday you will find
All who love are blind
When your heart's on fire
You must realize
Smoke gets in your eyes
Poker is hard enough even when your brain is functioning at peak capacity. Don't make it more difficult on yourself by trying to play with just a wilted bit of lettuce.
